Indlela yokuthetha nabantwana malunga nokugula kwengqondo

Impilo-ntle

Ukuba ngumzali kulucelomngeni kwezona meko zilungileyo-kodwa xa umzali ekwanengxaki yokugula ngengqondo, uxinzelelo oluqhelekileyo lokuba ngumzali kunokuba nzima kakhulu ekulawuleni. Njengomzali ophila noxinzelelo noxinzelelo, ndihlala ndinexhala lokuba ezi meko zingabachaphazela njani abantwana bam. Ndingayichaza njani kwaye kutheni ndingenguye umzali oqhelekileyo kubo ngeendlela abanokuziqonda nokukhula ukusuka kuzo?

Ukuqala, kufuneka siqonde ukuba abazali abagula ngengqondo basaxabisekile kwaye baxabisekile. Kubalulekile ukuba uqaphele ukuba imizabalazo yempilo yengqondo ayilinciphisi ixabiso okanye iimpembelelo zobomi bomzali, utsho UMaureen Gomeringer , I-MSW, i-LCSW, ugqirha wezengqondo kunye nomncedisi kumlawuli weklinikhi kumaZiko oNonophelo lwezeMpilo eMindPath eCarolina Partner eMantla Carolina.

Kubalulekile ukuba ucace kulo mbandela kuba uxinzelelo, uxinzelelo, i-ADHD, kunye nokuphazamiseka kokusetyenziswa kweziyobisi kunokubangela ihlazo kubazali kangangokuba baqale ukubuza ukuba ingaba abantwana babo bangangcono ngaphandle kwabo, utshilo uGomeringer. Zimbalwa kakhulu iimeko apho impendulo yalo mbuzo ithi ewe.

Imiceli mngeni yokuba ngumzali kwimeko yempilo yengqondo

Okwangoku, ukuba ngumzali onengxaki yempilo yengqondo kudala imiceli mngeni eyahlukileyo. Ukuxhalaba kunye nokuphazamiseka kwemozulu zezona zinto zixhaphakileyo kwimicimbi yezempilo yengqondo ekunokwenzeka ukuba abazali babe nayo, utshilo UVictoria Shaw , Ph.D., LPC, i Umcebisi onomdla kunye nomqeqeshi wabazali . Oku kubandakanya uxinzelelo lwasemva kokubeleka kunye noxinzelelo, oluchaphazela uqikelelo lwe-10% ukuya kwi-20% yoomama abatsha.

Ngamafutshane, ukudandatheka kunokwenza kube nzima kakhulu ukwenza imisebenzi elula kunye nokuzikhathalela, ungasathethi ke ngokuhoya iimfuno zomntwana wakhe, utshilo uShaw. Umzali odandathekileyo unokuba nobunzima ekunxibelelaneni ngokweemvakalelo nomntwana wakhe, kwaye unokukhathazeka lula okanye aphelelwe ngamandla ziimvakalelo zomntwana, iimfuno kunye nokuziphatha kwakhe.

Abantwana bajonge kubazali babo ukuba baphuhlise imvakalelo yabo yobuqu, kwaye xa abazali benomfanekiso-ngqondweni ogqwethekileyo kukugula kwengqondo, oko kunokwenza ukuba inkqubo ibenzima.

Ukungakwazi ukuzilawula nokuzilawula iimvakalelo zakho kuthetha ukuba kunzima kakhulu ukuxhasa abantwana bakho ekufundeni ukuzilawula, utshilo uShaw.

Ukuxhalaba kokuphazamiseka kunokukhokelela kubazali ekubeni bazikhusele ngokugqithisileyo okanye barhoxe ekuhlaleni. Le yinto endizabalaza nayo njengomzali oxhalabileyo ekuhlaleni. Ukudlala kunye nezinye iimeko zentlalo kundibangela uxinzelelo olukhulu, kwaye indlela endiphendula ngayo kukunduluka. Ngelixa oku kundenza ndizive ndingenaxhala, kunokubabeka bodwa abantwana bam kuba baxhomekeke kum njengomphathi wentlalontle.

Ukufundisa abantwana bakho ngempilo yengqondo

Nokuba ungumzali onesifo sengqondo, kuya kufuneka uqale uchaze impilo yengqondo kunye neemvakalelo kubantwana bakho ebusaneni kwaye uqhubeke ngokutshintsha iindlela zokulungela ubudala bomntwana kunye nenqanaba lokukhula.

UGomeringer uthi sikhuthele ekufundiseni abantwana imikhwa elungileyo yempilo yomzimba, njengokutya okusempilweni, ukulala ngokwaneleyo nokuzigcina ndicocekile. Ingqwalaselo efanayo kufuneka inikwe ekufundiseni abantwana ukuba bayikhathalele njani impilo yabo yengqondo.

Ngexesha lokufikisa ebutsheni, xa abazali bafundisa abantwana babo ngezilwanyana kunye nezandi kunye namalungu omzimba, ukwaziswa kwamagama aziva kufanelekile kwaye kububulumko, utshilo uGomeringer. Ukubonakalisa ebantwaneni iimvakalelo zabo kunye nokudibanisa imvakalelo kunye nesenzo, into, okanye umntu abaphendulayo kuye sisiseko sempilo yengqondo elungileyo.

U-Shaw uxinzelelo lokwahlula iimvakalelo kwizenzo. Iimvakalelo azikaze ziphosakele, kodwa isenzo ngokuqinisekileyo sinokuba njalo. Yazisa umntwana wakho ukuba kulungile ukuba azive enomsindo xa umntakwabo ebamba [into yakhe] yokudlala, kodwa akulunganga ukumbetha.

Ukuthetha ngempilo yengqondo nabantwana

Kukwanokusetyenziswa ngokufanayo ekuthetheni nabantwana malunga nempilo yengqondo yomzali.

1. Yiqonde into yokuba xa ungenabubele.

UGomeringer ucebisa ukuba abazali bathathe uxanduva ngezenzo zabo, baqonde ukuba basabele gwenxa kwimeko.

Xela iinyani, utshilo uGomeringer. Incoko inokuhamba ngoluhlobo:

Umama uyacaphuka kwaye atyhafise ngamanye amaxesha. Xa oko kusenzeka, umama ngamanye amaxesha uyangxola ngakumbi kwaye angabi nesineke-njengaxa ndandikukhwaza ndisithi awukhathali nganto kwaye awunantlonipho ngokuwisa isiselo sakho ekhaphethini. Ndiyaxolisa ngokukhwaza kwaye ndathi awukhathali nganto. Ndiyazi ukuba ukhathala kakhulu kwaye ubuzama ukuba uqaphele. Ndiyazi ukuba ibiyingozi. Kwaye iingozi ziyenzeka. Andikholwa ukuba ubungahloniphi. Ngamanye amaxesha umama uthetha izinto ezinomsindo, kwaye oko akulunganga. Ndiyaxolisa. Ndizakusebenza ekusebenziseni amagama am ukuthetha indlela endiziva ngayo endaweni yokuthetha izinto ezinomsindo.

Yitsho into oyenzileyo ephosakeleyo, kwaye uza kuzama njani ukuba ungayenzi kwakhona. Musa ukoyika ukuthi uxolo xa uthe wasabela ngendlela ebaxiweyo.

2. Chaza ukuba ukugula ngengqondo ayilotyala labo.

Abantwana bathambekele ekufundeni ngaphakathi, ke kubalulekile ukubaqinisekisa ukuba ukugula kwengqondo yomzali wabo ayilotyala labo, kwaye noxanduva lwabo lokulawula. Ukuxoxa ngemeko ethile umzali anayo, kanye njengokuba ubunokwenza imeko yomzimba, kunokuba luncedo ukuba kufanelekile ngokweminyaka.

3. Khumbuza abantwana ukuba uyabathanda.

Kwakhona kufuneka bazi ukuba abazali babo basabathanda kwaye bakhuselekile, kwaye bayakhathalelwa, utshilo uShaw. Oku kubaluleke ngakumbi ukuba isigulo sengqondo somzali sibangela ukungakwazi kwakhe ukukhathalela umntwana wakhe okanye kubangele ukungabikho njengokulaliswa esibhedlele.

UGomeringer ulumkisa ukuba ngokungalunganga alinganise ukungaziphathi kakuhle kunye nothando. Abantwana kufuneka bazi ukuba abazali babo bayabathanda, kodwa ukuba ukuphazamiseka kunokubangela ukuba intetho kunye namava olo thando luphazamiseke.

4. Chaza ukuba ulufumana njani uncedo.

Eyona nto ibalulekileyo umzali ahlala nokugula ngengqondo anokuyenza funa uncedo . Akuncedi ukuthetha ngeemeko zempilo yengqondo njengezisisigxina okanye ezingaguqukiyo. Banqabile-kubunzulu beempawu okanye ekubuyiseni, utshilo uGomeringer. Iimeko zempilo yengqondo zinokuhlala ngokusisigxina kwiimpawu ezinokuthi zibuye. Kodwa ifuthe linokutshintsha kakhulu ngenkxaso yobungcali, izakhono zokujamelana, izakhono zolawulo lweemvakalelo kunye nenkxaso kwezentlalo. Kubalulekile ukuba abantwana bazi ukuba ukufuna uncedo kunokwenza izinto zibengcono.

Ngonyango olufanelekileyo, ukuzazi, kunye nonxibelelwano olufanelekileyo phakathi komzali nomntwana (kubandakanya ukungavuli kuyo nayiphi na imibuzo enokuthi ivele), abazali abagula ngengqondo banokuba ngabakhathalelayo, abanomdla kunye nabazali abaphumelelayo. Khumbula ukubakhathalela, kufuneka uzikhathalele.

Ezinxulumene : Ezonaapps zilungileyo zokunceda kulawulo lwempilo yengqondo